“It wasn’t what I saw that stopped me, Max.
It was what I didn’t see.
Can you understand that?
What I didn’t see.
In all that sprawling city, there was everything except an end.
There was no end.
What I did not see was where the whole thing came to an end.
The end of the world.”
– – – – – – – – – –
“Take a piano.
The keys begin, the keys end.
You know there are 88 of them and nobody can tell you any different.
They are not infinite,
you are infinite.
And on those keys, the music that you can make is infinite.
I like that.
That I can live by.
But you get me up on that gangway and you roll out in front of me a keyboard of millions of keys. Millions and billions of keys that never end, and that’s the truth, Max, that they never end…
That keyboard is infinite.
And if that keyboard is infinite, then on that keyboard there’s no music you can play!
You’re sitting on the wrong bench!
That’s God’s piano.
Christ! Did you see the streets?
Just the streets! There were thousands of them!
How do you do it down there?
How do you choose just one?
One woman, one house,
one piece of land to call your own,
one landscape to look at,
one way to die.
All that world is just weighing down on you.
You don’t know even where it comes to an end.
Aren’t you ever just scared of breaking apart with the thought of it,
the enormity of living in it?
I was born on this ship.
The world passed me by,
but two thousand people, at a time.
And there were wishes here,
but never more than could fit between the prow and the stern.
And you played out your happiness, but on a piano that was not infinite!
I learned to live that way.”
– – – – – – – – – –
“Land…
Land is a ship too big for me.
It’s a woman too beautiful.
It’s a voyage too long.
Perfume too strong.
It’s music I don’t know how to make.
I can never get off this ship.
At best, I can step off my life.
After all, I don’t exist for anyone.
You’re the exception, Max.
You’re the only one who knows I’m here.
You’re a minority.
And, you’d better get used to it.
Forgive me, my friend.
But I’m not getting off.”
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